Steaming

I had a plan when I called
An opening put together
to transition easily
from examination to request
but then there were technical difficulties

On a time line
we see where we stand
half way through
the second week
of your hardest time

My moods have run the gamut
though I have tried to rise
uplifting for your sake
self policing moments dwelt
to spare you some straw

But the ground has come up again
and this bottom seams further down
and damned if in this short black hour
I don't feel my need swell up
to vent my hatred for the world

So short a honeymoon?
Before my baser tendencies
of the less than pleasurable variety
do seep in like rain
to dispel my sweetness

I will as I cannot help confess
that while the world is heavy
striding your lovely shoulders
I have stubbed my metaphorical toe
and burn to scream my blame

You are all
and light and joy
and a million fine things
which make me feel rich
as I breath in my right it it

But they are small
and petty and thoughtless
and a million tiny pains
like childbirth without
the long but happy ending of sentience

And so you see
my life in your love is luscious
velvety sweetness
caressing every sense
both known and not yet known

my life in the soulless masses
cowardly automatons and whimpering animals
which they are
whips at my soul
fanning a fire of spite

which will burn me up
and perhaps others as well
if I do not find the way back
to that sweet peace in which
to breath out the hate and in your eyes.