I managed to get to sleep by 8pm.
Then hit snooze again and again
Out of bed at 7am
Why did I need to sleep so long?
No time to stop and question.
One meeting done.
Another at 2pm.
Between now and then
A million little problems
must be solved.
Will I be done by the time you call?
If not will you understand
that all I am trying to do
is be the success
we need me to be?
How much of this day
will I spend thinking about you?
and will those thoughts hobble me?
or drive me forward?
Can I force this thing to be good for me?
What if working and poetry
are incompatible?
Will you lose interest?
Am I enough always
or only sometimes?
Can I be a programmer
and a lover?
Or is my malaise
due to some subconscious understanding
that I can only be one or the other?
Do I have the strength?
Can I find the strength?
To be yours and to me myself?
Have you changed me
so completely and so quickly?
Are impossible things
still within my purview?
Or will I disappoint?
Can I bring myself
to find out?
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