Goddess

Her day begins before the sun.
Knowing all she must get done.

Her feet hit the floor,
her mind alive,
she enters the world on top.

She already conquers
all she encounters,
She simply cannot stop.

Before the sun rises,
she has thwarted crises,
bolstered morale,
and righted wrongs.

Each error that's made,
at her feet it is laid.
She puts all back
where it belongs.

She runs without sustenance,
without time for rest,
and all falls inline in her wake.

Without all the back rubs,
the romance, the wine,
and all I would do for her sake.

To the innocent,
for whom she rights the world,
all seems to run on magic.

Without a thought,
he has perfect faith,
his life will never be tragic.

When he falls asleep,
he's at peace beneath the covers.

For what should you fear,
when a goddess is your mother?

Her business finessed,
she turns to the domestic,
no filth or disarray escapes her.

The day may be finite,
but her patience is not,
operations in her hands just purr.

Meals and fun and sleep are arranged,
for those who dwell in her hospitality.

Not a thought need be spared,
for those in her care,
their needs are met in totality.

She lays her head down
far too late each night
and rises again so early.

Does she even spare
a little thought there
for when she last did something girly?

So few moments stolen for her
to restore her godlike virtues.

though she could surely command,
anything within her purview.

And in those few moments,
if she thinks of me at all,
I hope she blushes head to toe,
and rushes quick to call,

knowing how I worship her,
and long for another kiss,

knowing how I need her love,
how everything about her I miss,

knowing my need to feel her close,
to make her shudder and moan,

knowing all I cannot do,
yet long to through the phone.

and if all that brings her just one smile,
one sigh of happiness,

then that is all I could ever want,
until I can get her undressed.

my oh so sexy baby

That special magic glow
I fell in love with as a child
staring into the infinite night skies
has somehow found its way
into the shining perfection of your eyes.

How do you know
how to curl those lips
to cast a tingling spell
shooting lightening through my veins
making me need to breath you in?

My skin has memorized the vibration of your purr
and whispers it to me
when I close my eyes
recalling the luscious lilt
of your every precious word.

You make me so deliciously uncomfortable.

I feel as though I am but a humble medium
chosen through blind helpless luck
to be the vessel through which
the universe fulfills its only mission:

to make mad passionate love to you,
the ineffable matrix of all creation
aligning to this one.
perfect.
eternal.
purpose.
striving with each breath,
with all that I can ever be,
to give to you one moment
worthy of your glorious love.

The Oddities of the Day

Today unfolded so strangely,
Yet without rancor;
A series of events
To which I was not the main
but a central player.

You were in my mind throughout.

As my misery unwinds me
Releasing me slowly to myself
I have been pushed by need
Eat, sleep, smoke, rest,
Step by step reclaiming my humanity.

Into this daze of rehabilitation
The consequences of life have drifted
Requiring my participation
And I have swayed without fight,
for in you I have peace.

The storms have come and gone
I have played advisor,
host, friend, philosopher,
each role coming so easily
my heart safe with you.

The pang of missing our time
Knowing your voice would linger brief
Was real and yet not desperate
Knowing too it would come again
and we would share all.

Was I with you today?
As you awoke and drove,
arrived and were welcomed?
For my heart was there
hoping to strengthen you in every moment.

The world is strange
and not quite right
when you and I do not
each night share our senses
weaving everything whole.

We will right this wrong
and I will celebrate in you,
with all the joy in me,
rewarding every neuron you possess
for being near enough for me to touch.

You are my truest love
and the vibration of matter
will not ring quite as sweet
until we are truly together
mind to mind,
body to body,
heart to beating heart.

In Celebration of You

There are no prose to express
the joy I've found in you
and I hope you will forgive
this meager attempt
to make you smile.

Here's to a treasure chest
to lighters, chapstick, sunglasses;
the beauty of simple plunder.

Here's to a mouth with curved smiling lips
which offers heartfelt laughter
and the sweetest kisses;
which loves all things cinnamon
and hates all surprises.

Here's to loving Henry
and finding a vacation
in a day filled with lego trains,
and so many sticky fingers.

Here's to sighs so lovely,
eyes that shines and softest skin,
to sacred quiet moments,
that you share with only me.

Here's to a love of wine
and loving it more when shared.

Here's to enjoying the adventure
in anything anywhere.

Here's to crying with old women,
of things too profound for words.

Here's to being a superstar
even when you don't feel it.

Here's to everything we'll share
even if we haven't yet.

Here's to loving all I know of you
and the more I'll come to know.

Here's to the warmth you fill me with
when you don't do anything at all.

I love you when you try to charm me,
when you say comforting words.
I love you when you're too tired,
and your feet too sore.

I love you when you're whiny,
and when you pout.
I love you when you're strong and proud,
the banisher of childish doubt.

I loved you yesterday,
and I'll love you forever,
but today was the anniversary
of you coming into the world
and if I were a religious person
I'd surely thank my lord.

Because I know one thing
above all others
and I want you to know too
I never would have known true happiness
if it weren't for all I've found in you.

A Closing Door

You said you were selfish
and I felt a pang.
It's a fault yours so rarely,
one I see so clearly in me.
Do you realize?

The door left open
for you to flee my love
you have asked that it be allowed to close:
that I hold you to your word,
that I honor your commitment.

And so I shall.

As my heart closes
around the reality
of you giving yourself to me
and claiming me in return
I am almost satisfied.

Let this truth escape me,
a lingering proof of the unsurpassed trust and faith
I cannot help but place in you,
for you should know the door left open
was for my own comfort.

The regret I have spoken of,
in years to come when looking back,
cuts both ways.

And so I shall overcome my trepidation
That you may not catch me
when I jump into your arms.

and do know that it is not the impact,
the regrouping in a foreign land,
that is the fear that I must conquer.

but rather the heartbreak I would ever feel
should you choose to close your heart to me.

and that truth which cannot be,
as I am right to trust you with my heart,
is the only thought so frightening
that it could give me pause.

Yet with such offerings,
of flowers and devotion
of love so valuable
because of its cherished source,
I would be a fool
not to honor my dearest love
by closing such a hateful door;

Embracing the all of you.

My Match

Your friends seem to know
so little of you
even less of me
and yet for so long
they have had your ear to bend.

There is no animosity in me
for their good intentions
but a fire has been ignited
and burns so hot and bright for you
to scare away the shadows their doubt summons.

Please do not misunderstand
my faith in your love is strong
and should their doubt become embodied
in any form which eyes could see
I know you would slay it.

You are strong for me and with me.
My heart is certain
that you stand at the ready
to strike fear into the hearts
of any who would do me ill.

Perhaps there are angles of attack
to which I am blind
as I fear you are
to seeds of harm
which strike only from within.

My dearest beauty,
for whom I could write endless prose,
I want to kiss your eyes awake
to the unique dangers
of unfounded trepidation.

Always do I say yes
to the weighing of logical concerns.
In so many ways
I have shown my religious devotion
to reason, reality, truth.

Yet, while holding judgement
and prizing fact over emotion
are indeed deeply correlated;
causation is an unjustifiable assumption,
and a ruinous one.

Let us abandon for a moment
the rosy glow of love
through which I always compose
when the perfection of you
is held in my mind.

In the stark gray light of consequence
where does hesitation now really lead?
Two paths diverge
and down each swaying time line
are so many faces of regret.

What do we even know of regret?
For I used to think I knew
of love, appetite, lust,
yet now the years before
hold only shallow landscapes.

No one gets what we have.

What we share only exists
due to the wonder that you are
and what wonder is in me
yet more because in our love
our lives are aglow with glorious new possibility.

Here and now,
as our seed takes root,
we tend our love
watching it grow into magnificence;
so much is woven into all that we will be.

Let me not regret
leaning into the fall.
Please forgive me
for enjoying the plunge.
Never have I been so terrified and alive.

At every opportunity
I will make your life a dream
of romance, love, and beauty
and will never be satisfied
by less than the soul of you.

You could so easily drive me to madness
by holding yourself back from me.
Pining, burning, perishing,
thinking you might feel
one heartbeat less than I.

Push me away and I will go,
my heart in your hand,
but my feet on the path,
into a lonely noir future.
All progress; no heart.

You are my happiness

My joy,
my love,
my sweet repose
You are the balm on my psychic wounds
Making tender thoughts once raw

The blackest pit
is cozy now
that the soft light of you
fills every corner
of a once lonely life.

I will rain kisses down
over the landscape of your perfection
praising every portion
of the ever wondrous whole
that is you.

Forever my life will be
lived in your honor
in thanks to you
for taking pain
and giving cherished love.

To you I am indebted
and hope to never fulfill
my obligation so that
each day I can wrap you up
in my gratitude.

You are the song
that caresses my lips
and lifts my heart
and dampens my eyes in joy
to be a vessel for affection.

With you I am invincible
and will hold back all storms
that threaten to take you from me,
the greatest threat of all,
for without you I am nothing.

Let me be mighty for you
as it is you who make me so.
Every talent, skill, and knowledge
in my treasure trove
lives only for you.

My princess,
my queen,
my goddess,
I am your humble servant
trembling from need for you.

Steaming

I had a plan when I called
An opening put together
to transition easily
from examination to request
but then there were technical difficulties

On a time line
we see where we stand
half way through
the second week
of your hardest time

My moods have run the gamut
though I have tried to rise
uplifting for your sake
self policing moments dwelt
to spare you some straw

But the ground has come up again
and this bottom seams further down
and damned if in this short black hour
I don't feel my need swell up
to vent my hatred for the world

So short a honeymoon?
Before my baser tendencies
of the less than pleasurable variety
do seep in like rain
to dispel my sweetness

I will as I cannot help confess
that while the world is heavy
striding your lovely shoulders
I have stubbed my metaphorical toe
and burn to scream my blame

You are all
and light and joy
and a million fine things
which make me feel rich
as I breath in my right it it

But they are small
and petty and thoughtless
and a million tiny pains
like childbirth without
the long but happy ending of sentience

And so you see
my life in your love is luscious
velvety sweetness
caressing every sense
both known and not yet known

my life in the soulless masses
cowardly automatons and whimpering animals
which they are
whips at my soul
fanning a fire of spite

which will burn me up
and perhaps others as well
if I do not find the way back
to that sweet peace in which
to breath out the hate and in your eyes.

So Dirty

My mind is in the gutter
when I lay in my bed alone
each night with only memories
to wrap my legs around
and desires which scream your name

Do you remember the massage?
Your hot voice letting me know
that so much was not needed
for me to own all of you
and yet I pleaded to continue

I had to slow down
had to stay my urges
needed to imprint every inch of you
on my faulty memory
to be replayed again and again

Each night my hands roam
over your sweet scented body
inhaling deeply
grasping at the phantom of you
my body crying out for reunion

The sound of your breath haunts me
The tensing and releasing of your muscles
under my needy hands
the satisfaction of your sighs
driving the fevered pounding of my blood

When will you let me own you again?
It cannot be soon enough
I crave only you
every inhalation is pain
without the promise of you in the air.

Music plays inside of me
singing out to you
adding a bounce to internal dialog
an unfamiliar smile
teasing at my lips

Thinking of you
has become a secret indulgence
fluttering joy inside me
pressing my compulsion
to make you laugh again

For what could be sweeter
than the dancing in your eyes
the curve of happy lips
the warmth of blushing skin
all for me

I am greedy for you
and wholly unashamed
at my selfishness
another first inspired by you
another source of gratitude in me

I want, need, demand
your all
the thought of which makes me giggle
like a school girl
with no comprehension of loss or pain

My necessity is fulfilled in you
proving that lightening does strike
no matter how unlikely
and I am the lucky winner
with all the effervescence entailed

For in my heart I know
without doubt
that as much as I have won you
you have also won me
and consider this once sad end

a prize.

Running

The pace is fast
faster than I want to admit
and even the charted territory
seems new and dangerous
now that the goal has a face

I am strong and capable,
smart and creative,
the solution to every problem;
but you are the solution to me
and what drives me is no longer theory

Do you know my need?
Do you feel the pressure
my begging to be let in?
bound by the chains of physics
from my true place

I am destined to be yours
your comfort,
your partner,
your relief from an unforgiving world
that does not see you as I can

My every strength is yours
use me well or use me poorly
it does not change my purpose
it cannot change my love
the meaning of which I have just come to understand.

You unlock me
by letting me unlock you
I know myself anew
through my knowledge of you
and I wouldn't take back a single second.

I have a million words
and will find the moments
to say each and every one
to fill you, lift you, rejoice in you
but for now there are only four:

eight and one half.

The Experiment: Day One

I managed to get to sleep by 8pm.
Then hit snooze again and again
Out of bed at 7am
Why did I need to sleep so long?
No time to stop and question.

One meeting done.
Another at 2pm.
Between now and then
A million little problems
must be solved.

Will I be done by the time you call?
If not will you understand
that all I am trying to do
is be the success
we need me to be?

How much of this day
will I spend thinking about you?
and will those thoughts hobble me?
or drive me forward?
Can I force this thing to be good for me?

What if working and poetry
are incompatible?
Will you lose interest?
Am I enough always
or only sometimes?

Can I be a programmer
and a lover?
Or is my malaise
due to some subconscious understanding
that I can only be one or the other?

Do I have the strength?
Can I find the strength?
To be yours and to me myself?
Have you changed me
so completely and so quickly?

Are impossible things
still within my purview?
Or will I disappoint?
Can I bring myself
to find out?