Within me...

Time extends forward in my mind.
I see you coming to spend a week in my world.
I see the months unfolding with urgent and barely contained longing.
I see my drive to gather resources, to achieve, to succeed.
I see the summer coming with so many visitors,
and me
charming them
weaving a shimmering spell to prevent them from seeing
that it is you who is ever present in my thoughts.

I see the short summer nights filled with careful pushes,
kicking off each of a series of logistical steps,
the end of which puts me in your arms each night and each morning,
for as long as time stretches towards the perpetual horizon.

Past that my vision becomes less distinct,
more scattered and dreamlike.
Mornings of making pancakes with Henry,
driving out to meet you for lunches,
stealing more time with each other than we strictly should.
Quiet conspiratorial chats where our minds wrap together,
our eyes feed into one another,
my hands collecting ever more reminders of your sweet skin.

Through the dream veil I see your smile as you meet my friends,
as you become part of my family,
as you realize how much the people that love me are enamored of you.

I do all I can to keep my minds unwinding reach just shy of that dreamy place,
lest the infinite temptations -
your shining eyes at well chosen gifts,
the joy of surprising you with a kiss,
the endless pleasures of moments arm in arm or hand in hand with you,
the feeling of your eyes and his mind on me,
as I share and teach and entertain your greatest treasure,
being your plus one at the riveting drama of Henry's unfolding life,
being the lucky soul to remind you in the darkness of your unique right to pleasure
- steal away my focus and drive,
making me too complacent, satisfied, joyful,
to achieve all that I am made to achieve.

Just shy of that dreaming place,
where lies the avalanche of action which brings you to me
and me to you,
and seals us together into a single, overwhelmingly powerful, life force,
that is what steals my mind and readies my hands
prepares and allows me to face each moment of each day
without fear,
without regret,
without anything but the pure conviction that each moment closes the distance between.