Driving me crazy

I can see you in my mind's eye
Picking out your matching pink,
Your ripped jeans,
Your black chemise,
The studs for your ears.

My mental picture of you bathes,
lotions and dresses,
brushes her teeth,
fills her pockets with essentials,
and tells her son goodnight.

In full 3D behind my eyelids
I see you depart into the young night,
headed to friends and anonymous dancing
Maybe the music will be great,
maybe you'll ignore all but the beat.

My heart contracts as you drive away,
as I lose your voice,
as you venture into a more real world
than the one we can create from a distance,
through a weak cell connection.

Later you're there again,
joining me in my bed
as a short glowing text message,
and the you in my mind instantly updates.
I hear your voice saying the words, breathless.

The you I keep in the cage of my mind
is now covered in a slight sheen of sweat,
the sweet smell of your flesh comes through
your body's heat pushing it across,
the club smell of liquor and stale smoke cannot deaden it.

The glow of your eyes is a bit fuzzy.
The drinks you've had have set your blood on fire,
and cast everything in a soft glow.
My heart surges with the wish to reach out
through the distance to clasp you close to me.

I am maddened
by the ghost of your scent in my nostrils,
the memory of your skin under my hands,
the softness of your lips against mine,
my need to own your body with my own.

My hands, once steady wielders of logistic greatness,
now shake with an ever present craving,
and seem so weak,
incapable for the first time
of delivering to me my highest need.