Disillusion

You never loved me
I was a fool to think you did
I am unlovable

Too valuable to pass up
You had to try and keep me

So smart
So sexy
So dynamic

Never find someone as good
That's what you said
And I believe that
Not that it matters

What is smart, sexy, dynamic
What is this life worth without love?

I will never be loved
I do not have what it takes

Not pretty.
Not soft.
Not sweet.
Not the one to make YOU feel superhuman.

Too intimidating.
Too challenging.
Too scary.
Great friend. Great in bed. But no human heart for me.

And if you don't understand,
If no one understands,
then I envy you.

All I have is nothing without love.
I am not special in that way.
I'm just special in other ways.
Which makes folks think that this must not be so important.
Not for me.
But it is.

And if I want to die because I cannot have the only thing that makes life worth living.

Then it is only human.