I came out to my family this year.
I was raised in the deep south and feared for my health should I ever expose myself as the kind of freak woman who is attracted to other women. God forbid. Literally.
So I went through school, college, moved away, even started my own business, still in the closet. Then the stupid idea that my folks would die and I'd never forgive myself convinced me to finally come out of the closet.
Did I mention that I moved thousands of miles away to a tiny town? Well I did. And I set down roots. And now I am pushing 30, just came out this year, and find myself a successful business person in a liberal open minded area completely devoid of a gay scene.
Not that I can bitch too much; it's not like there's much of a night life in a town of 20,000 for people of any orientation.
But here I am none the less. The thing is... I'm white. And so I'm not going to get more statuesque, dignified, glorious as I age. I was as attractive as I will ever be in my early teens. As life goes on, I more and more resemble a wad of chewed up bubble gum. Not the kind of thing to churn the juices of woman kind... even if there were any other lesbians in this town.
Not that I'm bitter. I mean not in the traditional sense. I'm way beyond that. I am a force to be reckoned with in everything that I do. Be it business, project management, community events, charity, or ruing. I am god's gift to ruing.
For anyone not familiar with ruing, I suggest reading the complete history of Penny Arcade comics. You'll come across it eventually. Or just call Microsoft technical support. You'll come across it within a few minutes.
So enjoy the stories of my misery. It's my gift to a sexually confused and syphilis ridden world.
About a week ago, I was bored, lonely, and trying to wind down for bed after a normal 18 hour work day. My best friend had crashed out a few hours earlier so I popped open Omegle and started chatting around.
After a few purely comedy based chats I ended up talking with another lesbian. It was a complete surprise as I had come to assume I was the only lesbian in existence. But they brought up the idea, assuming I was a man, and I was pleased to be able to say that no, although my spectral penis was easily offended, it did not exist in the flesh - so to speak.
They went on and on about how I was their soul mate. I tend to get that within the first few hours of someone knowing me - male or female. I'm like a smooth mirror in which people see whatever the hell they feel like. I tried to mention, again and again, how I was honest to a fault and how that generally turned people off.
They kept on trying to up the sexy talk and I was interested, but not deterred from my honesty policy. They started talking about first times, talking about how they had first gotten it on with a woman when they were 19... a big fat woman like me... and how it was some truly great sex.
I mentioned that that had been the age I was the last time I was raped. Great conversation fodder, I know, but I'm real into the whole disclosure thing. Especially if someone's going to spend 45 minutes talking about how I'm their soul mate and their going to travel 2000 miles to my small town to fuck my brains out. But, as I should have known, it was a conversation killer. Suddenly, she needed to go to bed.
End Sob story #1
So, I've had this great female friend for about six months. I'm completely infatuated with her because she is smart, funny, and likes the things I like. A few months ago she became discouraged with men in general and her boyfriend in particular. She started saying how she should just be my girlfriend. I tried to dissuade her, telling her she was far to straight for that. She convinced me, to my surprise, that she was bi-sexual. We jokingly became "ironic" girlfriends.
Last week she was bitching again about men, having left her boyfriend and been alone for more than a month. I said she was welcome to be my girlfriend non-ironicly. She said she wasn't sure she could do more than cuddle. Having never been with a woman, cuddling was all I could want in the world and I told her so. She decided she would be my girlfriend on my days off, and I promised not to try to have sex with her and to not have my feelings hurt when she eventually broke up with me.
Last night, she and I had our first official date. We ate out together and then she came over to my place to watch t.v. and chat. We did not cuddle, which was dissapointing, but she did seem to have a good time.
Today she was debating whether to accept an invitation to go hang out and drink with some friends or whether to come over and hang out with me. She chose to go be drunk with her friends and I told her to have a great time and let her know she could call me if she needed a ride. She thanked me profusely.
At 2:30am this morning she messaged me to say "if it wasn't for my latex allergy I would have probably sexed an almost complete stranger. :) Yay for weird allergies!! Haha. Night!"
She and I have never even kissed.
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